Department of Precrime

pre-pilfering, pre-petty crime, pre-curiousity... what the hey.

* RIAA to Parents: Pay When They're Toddlers and Save the
Bother Later

The RIAA today sent a "settlement letter" to all parents of
children under 3 years old offering a toddler settlement rate
for online copyright infringement if they simply send payment
to major record labels before their children learn to read.

"Our goal is to make this easier for parents," said RIAA
President Cary Sherman. "Everyone knows that in this era of
increasing hard drive capacity and new digital media
technologies, it is inevitable that every child in America
will infringe copyright sooner or later. With our 'toddler
settlement' rate, parents can avoid those pesky lawsuits.
Consider it a way to invest your child's future."

The toddler settlement requires parents to log everything
their child ever does online and to make those logs available
to the RIAA at regular intervals. "It can just become a part
of every birthday celebration," added RIAA's counsel at Holme,
Roberts and Owen. "Blow out the candles and send your Internet
logs to Uncle RIAA!"

Sheesh!

That is my em, and that The RIAA is done in my bold interpretation of bedwetter yellow.