Pragmatic Montanan

This wise man understands that you just can't count on your family. When real people have a crisis, they need Tom Delay!

Stranger shouldn't decide life or death

I'm writing my living will, naming Tom DeLay as having power of attorney to make all medical decisions.

I thought about putting my wife in charge, but you never know. She could find someone else, or want my money.

Tom, however, is a good Christian man. Look at how he's taken the time and trouble to get to know Terri Schiavo, and the concern he has taken for her welfare.

I know that Tom would always put my best interests first. He would care for me like a family member, and consider all the options as coolly as a judge.

Sleeping easily tonight - not!

Won't somebody please sew Mr. DeLay a wardrobe worthy of this importance? I picture reversible satin/velvet fuschia with ermine trim, tights, and Ben Franklin shoes with puffy feathers in the buckles. How would you adorn him?