Bush Denies Lame Duck Status
The White House Rose Garden was elegantly draped with a banner that read "America loves President Bush" under a crystal blue sky with a single puffy heart shaped white cloud, one keen reporter was apprehended while filming Jeff Gannon/Guckert simultaneously blowing kisses and urinating in the bushes before the unnamed man was stripped, hooded and boarded on a plane headed for Saudi Arabia.
Laura Bush's placid smile remained unchanged as she gazed upon the Secret Service or somebodies impersonating the Secret Service beating and kicking a noticibly annoyed Helen Thomas. The rest of the press corps sucked contentedly on their pacifiers and gulped ice cold Evians as they waited for the Boy King to be led to the podium by his closest friends and trusted advisors Carl Rove and Scotty Mclellan.
Carl busied himself with the status of the boy king's zipper as Scotty licked the milk off his face before departing to leave Junior beaming in the hazy glow of the cameras.
"You love me", he began. "You love me. You really love me. America loves me. Everybody loves me."
Everything is great, it's fine and wonderful. Couldn't be better.
Social Security makes terrorists win. It's bad, really bad.
You love me. The boogeyman is gonna get you, you love me don't forget the boogeyman."
As for public doubts about his handling of the Iraq war amid rising U.S. casualties, Bush said he was pleased with the progress being made there and expressed optimism that Iraqi forces will be sufficiently trained to allow him to start bringing U.S. troops home.
"Iraq is great, really great, it couldn't be better. Those people don't understand that torture is freedom, up is down, censorship is knowlege and bombs are peace." He paused to bow at the thunderous roar of applause before delivering the much awaited good news that The Supreme Court on Tuesday overturned the conviction of onetime accounting giant Arthur Andersen for destroying Enron Corp.-related documents because of flawed jury instructions. and that the Tsunami victims really didn't need much aid, so the money could be redirected towards building upscale beach resorts.
Junior beamed for a full five minutes before calming the cheering crowd of reporters. When the exuberance started to wane he flashed the evil librul media his very best victory signs and waddled out of sight while they all repeated "We love President Bush, that is NOT toilet baper stuck on his heel!"
Laura Bush's placid smile remained unchanged as she gazed upon the Secret Service or somebodies impersonating the Secret Service beating and kicking a noticibly annoyed Helen Thomas. The rest of the press corps sucked contentedly on their pacifiers and gulped ice cold Evians as they waited for the Boy King to be led to the podium by his closest friends and trusted advisors Carl Rove and Scotty Mclellan.
Carl busied himself with the status of the boy king's zipper as Scotty licked the milk off his face before departing to leave Junior beaming in the hazy glow of the cameras.
"You love me", he began. "You love me. You really love me. America loves me. Everybody loves me."
Everything is great, it's fine and wonderful. Couldn't be better.
Social Security makes terrorists win. It's bad, really bad.
You love me. The boogeyman is gonna get you, you love me don't forget the boogeyman."
As for public doubts about his handling of the Iraq war amid rising U.S. casualties, Bush said he was pleased with the progress being made there and expressed optimism that Iraqi forces will be sufficiently trained to allow him to start bringing U.S. troops home.
"Iraq is great, really great, it couldn't be better. Those people don't understand that torture is freedom, up is down, censorship is knowlege and bombs are peace." He paused to bow at the thunderous roar of applause before delivering the much awaited good news that The Supreme Court on Tuesday overturned the conviction of onetime accounting giant Arthur Andersen for destroying Enron Corp.-related documents because of flawed jury instructions. and that the Tsunami victims really didn't need much aid, so the money could be redirected towards building upscale beach resorts.
Junior beamed for a full five minutes before calming the cheering crowd of reporters. When the exuberance started to wane he flashed the evil librul media his very best victory signs and waddled out of sight while they all repeated "We love President Bush, that is NOT toilet baper stuck on his heel!"
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